WHAT ARE THE WAYS TO TEACH A CHILD TO SHARE?
Methods to Develop the Sense of Sharing in Children
Try to teach sharing at a young age.
The sooner the better. As in many cases, the concept of sharing can be easily perceived by teaching it at the earliest possible age. It will be more difficult to change some habits in the following years. The ideal ages for this are; It is the age range of 2-3 when the child realizes that there are other children around him.
A child can become more self-centered when he is 2 years old. But a little boy who has reached the age of 3 sees the outside world much more easily. Moreover, the ability to perceive is now at a much more advanced level. For this reason, you can start to lay the first foundations of this feeling for your child when he comes to kindergarten age.
Explain how important it is to share.
If you want your child not to be selfish, to know how to share their belongings, to be a harmonious individual; tell him the place and importance of this action, which he did not know before, in our life. Try to explain why people share things with others, why it is important, and what situations might occur otherwise, with examples from life.
You can do behaviors such as donating, lending, gifting one of your surplus items to someone else, together with him. In this way, it will be much easier for him to implement an action that he knows the reason for. After all, even if it is a child, in order for him to do something, it must first come to him logically and correctly. Otherwise, what you teach will not be permanent.
Be a good role model to your child.
Parents set an example for their children in many ways. While your puppy is learning something new, he acts by using the technique of copying what he sees. The first people he takes as an example for this are the people he loves and trusts most, namely his parents. In that case, families should first practice the behaviors they want to teach so that the child can imitate them by looking at them and internalize the behavior.
Show behaviors that can set an example for your child to learn to share. For example; When you are with him, share some things with other family members or allow your child to see the cooperation you make with foreign people.
Remember; Children are like parrots and they do not easily forget what they see. You can take advantage of the impact of visual memory on learning and help him understand this emotion by being a good and accurate role model. As you see your behavior, you will realize that he is more willing to be sharing.
Explain that sharing does not mean ‘Giving up’.
A toddler who does not recognize the sense of sharing may believe that giving a toy or item to a friend means they will lose that item completely. As a result, the thought that the thing he loves will no longer belong to him makes him much more reluctant and stubborn to share.
It may be hard for the child to believe, although adults may try to explain that this is not the case. Remember; When you were a little baby, they thought that when you went to another room, you disappeared too. At this stage, try to teach by showing that sharing does not mean giving up that toy completely or losing it forever. He will be more accommodating when he knows that what he gave to his friend will return to him at the end of the day and that he is the real owner.
Show the limits of sharing.
For a child, the act of sharing should not only consist of parts of his world such as toys and chocolates. If you want him to understand this phenomenon well, you should try to show him that there is no limit to sharing, that it consists of a wide range of concrete concepts such as clothes, money, food, goods, or abstract concepts such as love and time.
Thus, you can make sure that the little ones who adapt while sharing their toy but cannot get used to the idea that they will have to share their parents with another child when they find out that they will have a sibling, can understand the situation.
Demonstrate and motivate the effects of the act of sharing.
Playful children “Why?”, “How?” They ask such questions quite often. These questions are the way your little one, who has just discovered the outside world, absorbs things in her inner world. He continues his questions until he receives satisfactory answers within the framework of his own logic, and only when he is convinced of the answer given, that question is settled for him.
This situation is “Why should I give my toy?” or “Why do I need to share?” It is important in terms of being able to respond to your child who is curious. If you can show him the consequences of his behavior or not, it will be easier for him to establish a cause-effect relationship and he will be motivated to take action. For example; You can explain that your friend should play with the toy too so that he or she is not unhappy, or if he wants to have more friends, you can tell them that they can play with their friend by revealing them instead of keeping all of their belongings to themselves.
When she doesn’t want to leave her shrinking clothes and give them to another child, you can tell her that she is too big to wear them now, that her clothes are new enough to wear and that other children may need them too. In fact, show him a favorite outfit or a toy that belongs to an older sister/brother or cousin, so that he/she knows that sharing is not one-way, but that others share it with him/her. Seeing that sharing brings happiness will encourage him.
Offer options for her to make her own choices.
There comes a period for every child when he does not like the choices you make for him and wants to make his own decisions. In this period, children say “No, no!” to everything. It is a process that he opposes. Confronting a toddler who behaves this way and insisting that he share something even though he doesn’t want to only makes things harder.
Respect your child at any age and guide them to make their own decisions. Knowing that he/she can choose whatever he/she wants among the options you have determined, your puppy will say, “My wishes and decisions are given importance.” awakens the thought of it and makes it more willing.
For example; If he has two candies in his hand, tell him that he can keep one of them for himself and give the other to his friend, and that he can determine the candy he will give. While playing, ask if he can share his toy with his friend and let him make the decision himself. You can be persuasive by explaining the reasons such as the reason, importance, etc. by stepping into the negative answers, but never make him give it by force or pressure.
Praise good behavior.
A child who understands that he can stand on his own feet and do things by making his own decisions without being dependent on anyone, expects his actions to be praised and appreciated. This increases the child’s self-confidence and self-confidence. He makes his next move with greater enthusiasm. The same is true for sharing.
If you want your child to continue the act of sharing, which he has just started to learn, throughout his life, without warning and thinking and willingly, be sure to appreciate him after every action. When you show your satisfaction to him, your pup will be happy, thinking that he has done a correct and successful behavior. Thus, the next time he will act with the desire to share again.
Try using different patterns so that she can grasp it.
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to explain, some concepts are not easy to perceive in the world of children. “Can you please share?” When you say that, the thought that you expect to have in your child’s mind may not come to life. This keeps it from being implemented. For this reason, you can use different patterns to help your little one understand more easily.
“Let’s take turns playing with that toy.” or “You can lend the other toy to your friend while you … do it.” You can make the act of sharing more pleasant by choosing sentence patterns such as: Also “… who will make it prettier?” or “Who will finish/eat the first one quicker?” Encouraging sentences such as can even help him to share the food he has with someone else.
Start with similar toys to share.
You have explained the importance, reason, effects of being a sharer in every way you can think of, but if the little one still doesn’t seem willing, on the contrary, try a different method. For example, start simple.
Children want to keep what is theirs to themselves.
Especially if this object is one of his favorite toys. Follow an innocent way to make him feel the feeling of sharing and use a similar toy of his favorite toy. For example; Show him two very similar toys and suggest that one of them be played by your child and the other by a friend. Even tell them that they can change toys after playing for a while if they want to.
Try using a clock while sharing.
When your child has to share an item with someone else, he or she will want to get it back as soon as possible. There is a simple way to resolve this situation. You can try to use a watch in order not to stress and upset your puppy and to continue the action in a regular way.
Knowing that he has to wait for a certain time to get something again and that he can achieve what he wants at the end of this period can be encouraging for the first stage. “Let your friend play for 15 minutes and you for 15 minutes.” or if there is a problem between two siblings, “You use this item today and you use it tomorrow.” You will also instill a sense of equality and justice in your child by making suggestions such as.
Get him to join different circles of friends and playgroups.
Studies show that children who spend most of their time alone or mostly playing with their parents are less sharing than children who spend more time with a large group of friends. One of the biggest reasons behind this is that the parents usually make the decisions when spending time with the child or always act according to his wishes.
In addition, a child who is accustomed to playing alone does not have to share anything with anyone, so this feeling grows quite far. For this reason, when your puppy reaches the ideal age, you can try to bring him together with different groups of friends and create an opportunity for him to socialize and learn to share.
First, you can make it meet with friends more often, or you can help your puppy learn to interact with other children by participating in group games by registering them in various activity groups. In such an environment, while your child gets used to the presence of other children, they will see that they are on equal terms with everyone, and they will understand more clearly when they need to wait their turn.
Let him keep some things to himself.
A state of complete surrender, especially in younger children, is not possible, nor should it be. While there are things that even adults would avoid sharing with a relative and would like to keep private, it is not right to expect a child to do this behavior. For this reason, if a friend is going to come home to play, you can find some solutions by having a small talk with him beforehand.
Ask him if there is any item among his toys that he does not want to share with his friend, and allow him to dispose of a reasonable number of toys. Children who understand that their feelings are given importance in this way begin to show more adaptive behaviors. You will also find that making such a deal is more motivating to share other items.
Let him empathize.
As in many areas of life, it is important to be able to empathize in situations such as sharing and helping each other. So how can you teach this to a young child?
Every child wants their own demands to come first. If he craves a chocolate bar, he should buy it and eat it, if he sees a toy somewhere, he should pick it up and play with it as soon as he sees it. But if there is another child in front of him who feels the same, how can he proceed? Their impulse is “Me first!” Try explaining to your child that the other friend feels the same way.
“How would you feel if you wanted to play with that toy instead and your friend did not give it to you?” Ask him and give him time to think. With the right guidance, it will not be difficult for him to empathize. As a result, if he wants someone else’s belongings to be shared with him, he will understand more easily as he experiences that he must share it too.
“How to teach a child to share?” You can apply these methods for the question; however, the main point you should pay attention to while applying is not to be too insistent and coercive.
Every parent wants their child to understand and learn about this emotion. But forcing him to share something persistently has the opposite effect and takes him one step further from the behavior. At such times, you should not give up and try again another day.