To Raise Children Free from Worry and Anxiety
Sometimes, unintentional comparisons or coercion can cause children to lose their motivation and even give up. Let’s talk about how you can support children in these matters with some little information and tips:
What is motivation?
First of all, let’s remember exactly what motivation is. You know, our needs are the basis of our behavior. These needs are the driving force that drives us. This driving force is called motivation. In order to provide motivation, first of all, the obstacles in front of motivation must be removed. Worries and anxieties, insecurity, fear of failure and despair are among the internal factors that prevent motivation. In addition, family, environment and friends are also listed as external factors. As a matter of fact, the main sources of the existence of internal factors are how external factors are shaped, especially at these young ages. Some children may appear more anxious, shy, fearful from birth, or some may seem much more extroverted, confident and courageous. However, the positive or negative development and reinforcement of these characteristics depend on the role models in childhood, the reactions and reinforcements they receive from their environment. So what are some positive and negative reinforcers in this area?
The behaviors that break children’s motivation the most are comparing your child with others and using negative labels. Giving your child the feeling that he is not enough, that others are better than him, and that you constantly label them “lazy”, “messy”, “incompetent” will cause them to give up and internalize these labels after a while. In addition, you do not support your children enough, disagreements between you, not creating a suitable environment for them at home, making them feel like you are not an individual, “You are small”, “You do not understand”, etc. Saying condescending words, degrading words of your sister, brother or siblings, or making negative speeches about them by saying that they are children anyway, will lower your children’s motivation, increase their anxiety and worry, and cause their self-confidence to decrease gradually.
Let’s talk a little more about anxiety.
Anxiety is experienced when a person is faced with a stimulus and feels under pressure; It is an arousal state or reaction manifested by physical, emotional and mental changes. When the activity is easy, a little anxiety can sometimes speed up learning and is not harmful. But if the activity is complex and difficult, then high anxiety makes learning difficult. High anxiety often hinders success. Anxiety usually occurs when children cannot fulfill the expectations of those around them, when they are forced into an activity that they are not ready for, or when they feel uncertainty and insecurity. That’s why, without comparing your children with others, without labeling them with negative nicknames, appreciating positive behaviors and criticizing negative behaviors immediately after and with their reasons will be the most correct approach and will help reduce your children’s anxiety and worries. Another reason for anxiety is the withdrawal of support. Children become anxious when the usual environment disappears, the presence of parents or people close to them, or protectionism decreases. Especially for children aged 0-6, maintaining the order they are used to is very important in terms of trust. The best thing you can do to reduce or prevent such anxieties is to avoid being overprotective, to strive for your children to be on their own feet and to be independent (so that they can feel confident when you are not with them for any reason), and not to destabilize the order, people and routines around them. Care should be taken to ensure that children are less anxious and peaceful both today and in the future. Less stress and anxiety support both being healthier, success and happiness. It is known that stress, anxiety and sadness have many physical and mental effects on people. Many bodily functions, from the functioning of the immune system to the cardiovascular system, are negatively affected by stress, as well as the mental functions of the person. In short, people who stay away from stress, anxiety and sadness are healthier and live healthier in the long run. We hope you and your child live as far away from stress and anxiety as possible.