How to Establish Correct Communication with Children?

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How to Establish Correct Communication with Children?

How to lay the foundation of effective communication with the child?
The foundation of effective communication with the child is laid with a sweet language and smiling face. The shape of our face and body language are as important as the words that come out of our mouths while talking to the child. The basic rules of healthy communication can be summarized as making our body language suitable for the child, not looking down on the child, being accessible and close, but also avoiding being close to the child in an unsettling way, making eye contact, being a good listener, and most importantly being sincere and sincere when communicating. .

I would like to underline once again that the most important point here is to be sincere and sincere. In recent years, parents have read so many articles on how to communicate with the child, received so much counseling, tried to imitate others so much that they forgot that the most important thing is sincerity, sincerity and naturalness.

Most of the parents, before they even start talking to their children, say, “If I say like this, I should do this, if I do like this, I will have made a mistake, if I say something wrong, what will happen, it said in the article I read the other day, etc.” they come out tired, tense and anxious from their conversations that they started with anxiety. We all know that the fear of being perfect and making mistakes eventually creates anxiety and worry. We should not forget that these feelings that we carry while talking to our child will pass on to him as well, gradually moving away from naturalness and not reaching the goal.

How to Establish Correct Communication with the Child?
1. It should not be forgotten that the most important language between mother, father and child is the language of love… As the great poet and wise Yunus Emre raised in Anatolia said, “When love comes, all the deficiencies are gone”…

2. As long as there is a love relationship, it will be meaningless to worry about the communication to be established, the words to be said, and the negative traces this will create on the child.

3. It should never be forgotten that the most important element in communication is sincerity and naturalness. Remember once again that the most comforting factors in the communication you have with your own parents, spouse and close friends are sincerity and naturalness… Remember how quickly you understand whether the other person is sincere, and the discomfort you feel from insincerity and pretense… Likewise, your child needs a natural and sincere form of communication. You will understand that it is.

4. “If speech is silver, silence is gold”. It is undeniable that your child needs your information and what you have to say… But you will see how comforting it is to be a good listener. Being a good listener will ensure that he or she will listen to you attentively in the future. Be careful not to interrupt her while she’s talking, but make sure she doesn’t interrupt you or anyone else.

5. When explaining something to your child, be careful not to make very long sentences and to speak in a plain and plain language. Be natural. Explaining and talking at length does not always produce the results you want. In your child’s eyes, you become a parent who knows a lot, talks a lot, not explains a lot. It will be better to speak briefly, simply and clearly, especially for children in the preschool period and the first years of primary school.

6. Most of the parents complain that their children do not talk to them much and do not tell what happened at school… “When I come home in the evening, I ask, ‘What did you do at school today?’, he does not answer. Or he says he didn’t do anything. What should I do?” Which of us is asked as soon as he walks through the door, “What did you do today?” or “how was your day?” We give polite and explanatory answers to their questions… Don’t we first want to sit down and relax, and then start sharing interesting things from that day on our own? What if we give this opportunity to our child? For example, if we chatted first, and started to talk about what we did that day and the interesting events we experienced… Maybe then he might want to share a moment he lived too… So instead of being inquisitive, sharing… How about remembering what your own parents did? “I had a lot of work today, I cooked a lot today, Ms. Nermin came today, there was no electricity until noon, etc.”

7. One of the places and times where natural and pleasant communication is most comfortable is at dinner tables and meal times. Unfortunately, in the last period, these times are spent with the discourses of “you ate, you did not eat” in the name of healthy nutrition of children. As a result, we have children leaving the table crying, mealtimes that sometimes end in physical hunger and sometimes emotional hunger…

8. Not to judge the child, not to expect and to accept unconditionally; Here are a few of the important points that will facilitate our work in communicating with our child and enable our child to communicate with us comfortably… Immediately, he said to the child, who had a negativity with his friend that day, “Did he hit you? What did you do? Don’t play with it! You should have told your teacher!” etc. Approaching with words involves questioning and judgment. Instead, it will be much healthier to listen to the child, learn what he is feeling at the time, and let him express his feelings.

As a result, let’s leave the artificial, insincere communication aside and continue on our way with a natural, sincere, sincere, non-judgmental, non-questioning way of communication…

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