Can You Communicate Correctly With Your Child?
The best way to get to know children is to be able to communicate with them correctly.
Being able to communicate correctly in the triangle of mother – father and child is also very important for their social, emotional and academic development. First of all, it should never be forgotten that children are individuals. The communication that the parents will establish with the child forms the basis of the communication they will establish for a lifetime. In a positive parent-child relationship, it is necessary to give love and trust to the child, to have the right speaking technique and to be a good listener. As small individuals, children experience difficulties and problems, no matter what age they are in the hectic pace of life. In order to keep the communication between the child and the family intact, it is necessary to spend quality time, give them the opportunity to express themselves, listen to their problems and empathize.
For successful communication, first make your child feel valued.
Children do not like adults whose goal is simply to obey. Adults constantly use admonitions or imperatives to get their words heard, and there is always a desire to establish authority in their tone of voice. Giving automatic answers and reactions while trying to dominate does not increase the child’s self-worth. The child loses self-confidence because of the idea that he is worthless. Moreover, such an approach will not contribute to the solution of the problem. As a result of the reactions caused by negative feelings and thoughts, after a while, the child will begin to ignore your feelings. For example; When you throw away your child’s toy that is old and should be thrown away without feeling the need to get his opinion, he will feel that he is not cared and will treat you in the same way.
What approach should be adopted when talking to children?
It is necessary to apply some basic principles in order to give correct reactions when communicating with children. Especially the common concern of working mothers is about the quality of the communication they establish, as they spend most of the day without seeing their children. You may need to give the child the attention they need at a time when you are very busy. It is necessary to put aside what you are busy with at the moment, try to be calm and be ready to communicate and think about what one needs. Interest and the right questions will strengthen the communication with the child. If you make him feel that you understand him, he will definitely be sensitive about understanding you.
Communicate with the child according to his age
By giving the child enough attention and love from infancy, you can make him feel that you are trying to understand and accept him. It is possible to send positive messages, both verbally and non-verbally. Since children’s mental functions are not as developed as those of adults, it is very important to get down to their level when communicating. Children’s vocabulary is not as large as adults. According to the age group, it is necessary to establish simple sentences that he can understand. While doing this, eye contact should be established during communication by sitting or hugging if necessary.
The key to strong communication is being a good listener.
When you listen to your child, you show that you care about what he has to say. To be a good listener; You should make eye contact and wait for your child to finish the sentence without interrupting while speaking. After the words are finished, repeat them as much as you understand so that they can understand that they are being listened to. During communication, ask open-ended questions that continue the conversation rather than ending it. Some sentences that you can use while communicating with your child can contribute to effective communication. For example, you can leave comments such as “I’d like to hear you”, “What do you think about this?”, “Is there anything else you want to tell me?”, “I’m listening”, “Interesting”. Effective communication takes effort, the sooner you start it, the more positive your communication with your child will develop.
Try to understand your child’s inner world
Insulting and lecturing speech harms effective communication. Value your child’s feelings and thoughts rather than criticizing them. Do this without exaggeration so that the child does not lose self-confidence in cases where criticism is required. Do not bring up the past problems and mistakes over and over again because this will damage your relationship. Instead of being insensitive to your child’s feelings, rejecting them or saying that they are wrong, accept their feelings and support them where necessary. Nobody likes someone who tries to give orders, so instead of giving orders, offer your child what he needs to do as an option when appropriate. Providing the child with the opportunity to choose one of the alternatives presented to him will increase his self-confidence. Since children take their parents as role models for them, it is necessary to pay attention to the communication you have with other people besides your child. Children who are constantly shouting and scolding themselves and each other show the same behaviors to their parents and siblings. When you manage to communicate with your child correctly and make him/her feel that you believe and trust him/her, your child will discover his/her potential, his/her self-love and respect will develop and he/she will be a successful individual.